Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
