Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
we're so committed to being not committed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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