Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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