I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
