I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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