You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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