Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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