Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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