I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
