Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize