actually, I'm a sock model
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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