I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
