at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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