oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
