WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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