Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
