No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
