I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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