Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
