my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
