I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
