it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
