Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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