The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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