If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
