I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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