Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
