the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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