you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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