cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
