So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
