so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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