So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize