she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
