dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
