her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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