that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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