i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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