things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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