I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
this boner is exhausting
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know her cup size but not her name....
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