dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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