Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
