Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
