I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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