I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
