She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
