This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
