I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
