herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
