she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
