We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
