Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
