making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
