i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
