I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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