i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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