dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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