I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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