im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
