There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
